I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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