Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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