so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
