someone get that fucking seahorse.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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