Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
