Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
