What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
