carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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