Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
