It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
