Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
