When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
