weddingsv make me drug and hornr
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
