Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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