That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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