I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
