I'm drive I can fine osifer
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
