you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
