they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
