I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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