Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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