New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Your penis caused this!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
