can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
