dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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