today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
