omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
