i need an iv and a liver transplant
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
