I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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