fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
