If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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