is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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