I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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