can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
