Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
