its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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