Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
