i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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