We won't sleep together?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
