took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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