Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
whose parrot is this?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
