the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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