i think my tv is drunk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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