MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
