I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
