I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
