i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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