yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
