o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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