Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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