I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
