Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im six kinds of drunk right now
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
