were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
