I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
